What is your salad dressing of choice?
I think I like Italian. That's the yellow-clear one, right?

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
I'd say my favorite is Denny's. I really like Julie's Cafe, too, but I haven't been there in a long while.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Absolutely nothing, LOL. If I eat one thing too often, I'll get sick of them.
*laments Nutty Bars*

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I like pepperoni and sausage. And most other meats. > What can I say? I love meat. Take that how you will~.
Does extra cheese count? Because that shit is sexy. And stringy...

TECHNOLOGY*
How many TVs do you havee?
"Havee" is apparently a band, says Google. I'll assume you meant "have".
I've got one in my room. There is one downstairs, and there's another in the living room. So, I've got three. :]

What color cell phone do you have?
I have camoflauge. It's like a chameleon in that it changes colors to hide itself, based on the colors of its environment!
[Just kidding! Chameleons change colors due to emotion, not environment!] I've got the futuristic model of... uhm... invisi-fone. You never see me using it because I do that shit with my miiiiiinnnnnnndddddd.

How many computers?
How many computers what? How many do I want? How many do I eat? How many do I "havee"? You're missing a verb! You accidentally the whooooole thing!
But I only have one. And I want a new one. Like a laptop or somethin'. But I'm certainly grateful for the one I have! *makes love to computer* It's just old, you know. And it gets raped by things like Facebook and most games.
BIOLOGY*

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
I'm right-handed. I've not got TERRIBLE penmanship with my left, but... it could, uh, certainly use some work.
Wait a second. It's worse than I remember. LOL? It looks like it might be better in cursive, though.... weeeeirrrrrd.
Speaking of cursive, did you know that they're not teaching it at most schools, anymore? D: D: D: D: I like cursive, it just takes me a bit to write it.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Do fecal matter, urine, blood, and jism count? If so, then I have tons of things removed from my body every day, LOL!
If they don't, I still have had things removes. Like three of my four wisdom teeth.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A giant roll of something (gold leaf?) that Becker had me carry down to Barnheart's room, so she could see if it would work for decorating Skills USA's Homecoming float. ... He made me carry it back down the hallway! I BAAAAAAAWWWWWW'd.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
I don't thiiiiiiiiiiink sooooooo... I might just not remember it, though.

POSSIBILITOLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
[What the shit is with the -ologies? "Possibilitology"? Really?]
Well, that depends. Would it be years before, or days/weeks before? If it were years, I would NOT want to know - it would put too much weight on me, both physically and mentally, for far too long.
But if it was a few days or weeks prior... I'd like to know, yeah. So I could try to do what I want to do in life [Visit Soleil, get a boy, go to England/Ireland/Canada, etc] and say good-bye to my friends and family. Only if it was the EXACT date, though, you know? I don't want to either have what I want to do cut short, or have to live every day unknowing.
Well, realistically though, most of us live every day unknowing. So I digress, I guess.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I like my name, actually. Joseph Michael Flaig.
*getsrapedby/b/*

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Sure, why not? I'd probably vomit spectacularily [hopefully at someone's face!] and get a MASSIVE case of the shits, though. And if I had to, I'd do it all in one sitting, versus one drink every little while. Slow death/torture == less fun than quick torture!

PERSONALOLOGY

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
One, two, three...
Zero. And I'd like to keep it that way. I don't like my feet.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Never. BECAUSE I NOT BAD CHILD, HURRRDURRRRRR! *gets shot'd*
I'M JUST KIDDING, KELSEY~! I'm a terrible child. > Naw naw naw, girl-o, you're not a bad kid. Yer a good'un... usually. ;D
I think I'm ju--
ACTUALLY, HOLY SHIT, I HAVE. Except, it was mall security. So it was even more retarded than one with local police. Scenario:
Kelsey, Liz and I were hanging out at the mall. One of our partial-friends [lolname?] was like "OHAIGAIZ" and we were like "lolhi". He had a friend with him [let's call this friend Pyrodouche, k?] and we hung out for all of five minutes.
Later, when Kelsey, Liz and I were sitting at a small [srsly, it was for kiddies] table by the carosel, watching the innocent little children plaaaaaay talking about something, Pyrodouche came over and he's all like "hey gaiiiiiiizzzzz" and we didn't know how to react, so we spewed out an impromptu "Uhhhh... hi?". Pyrodouch randomly pulls out a lighter and lights one of those damn three-sided advertisement prisms on fire. WE WERE IN THE MALL, IN THE OPEN, GODDAMMIT. [Don't worry, Kelsey, I won't mention that you angled the thing so it burned better. ] Not too much of it burned, but it put out far too much smoke. I didn't like it, I knew we'd get in shit, but I didn't stop him because I was seekritly afraid that he'd light ME on fire, next.
I looked up and saw this creepy-looking foodcourt janitor [DEMEANING JOB #1] shouting urgently into his walkie-talkie. We were all "OH SHIT", so Pyrodouche snuffed the fire and we got up and bolted out of the mall, LOLOL. We slowed to a fast walk [TOTALLY INCONSPICUOUS, AMIRITE?] and went by the bike racks by ShopKo. Some sort of police vehicle was parked there and an officer climbed out and asked us if we saw four kids, dressed in all black, lighting things on fire. Naturally, we were all thinking SHITSHITSHIT [I can read minds, didn't you know?], but we said, "No." Or did we? I vaguely think someone said, "Yeah. They ran out, and went that way. *points in opposite direction*". Either way, the cop went away and we proceeded to GTFO. Pyrodouche rode his bike and diverged from us by Oneida.
Then, at least a few weeks (months?) later, Kelsey and I were at the mall DOING CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. We stopped in the foodcourt to get something to eat [and we ran into some little girl that had shadowed Kelsey for a day a while earlier]. Kelsey got a burger from A&W [did I buy it? I don't remember!] and we at at the end of a table, with the little girl and her family or something.
Then, an unfamiliar, fat, rat-toothed mallcop waddled up to me and took me aside. This is how it went:
Ratface: "Your girlfriend is eating, so I'm talking to you instead."
Me: "... Really? She's not my girlfriend."
Ratface: "Sure, sure. She looks like she is."
Me: "What? How is that relevant?"
Ratface: "Whatever. We were told you lit things on fire. Did you?"
Me: "W-whaaaaaaaat?"
Ratface: "You and her and a few other kids were lighting things on fire a while back. Like this ad. *holds up ad with a charred corner*"
Me: [i]FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU---[/i] "Oh, [b]that[/b]. Well, [i]we[/i] didn't, no."
Ratface: *has unbelieving expression* "Uh-huh. Then, who did?"
Me: "Some random, mildly creepy guy that was randomly talking to us."
Ratface: "Friend?"
Me: "No. More like friend of a friend. ... Of a friend. We had met this guy a total of one time, for less than five minutes, earlier in the day."
Ratface: "What happened?"
Me: "We, two other people and I, were sitting by the carousel. This guy randomly sits by us and starts talking. He whips out a lighter and just sort of *gestures with arm*... reached out and lit that ad on fire."
Ratface: "So neither of you did it?"
Me: "... No."
Ratface: "What did the guy look like?"
Me: "Long hair. I won't say anything else not because I don't want him to get in trouble, but because I have the feeling that if I say anything other than that (what I said was rather general, would't you say?) you'll pull aside anyone that matches his discription, even if it's only vaguely."
Ratface: *waning patience* "What else did he look like?"
Me: "Dark hair." [i]Dammit![/i]
Ratface: "You have long hair. And it's dark."
Me: "I have brown hair. It's not dark. It's more chocolate-y. And it's not long. It's medium-length."
Ratface: "Whatever. What's your name?"
Me: *shifts uncomfortably* "My name is... Joey." [i]GODDAMMIT WHY DIDN'T I LIE!?[/i]
Ratface. "My name is [insertnamehereshit]."
Then he shook my head and left.

TL;DR I'M SEEKRITLY AFRAID OF THE FOODCOURT IN THE MALL, NOW.

Last person you talked to?
Tim and Michelle, when they dropped me off here.

Last person you hugged?
Mah daddeh.

FAVORITOLOGY

Season?
Winter. I like the cold temperatures, and snow is nice to look at [but not do much of anything else in, I assume]. I don't like summer because it tends to get ball-blisteringly hot, and I don't like spring, nor fall, because of my motherfucking allergies.

Holiday?
Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Easter.
|D

Day of the week?
Friday. Nothing's as sexy as the feeling of "FUCK YES I JUST GOT OUT OF SCHOOL NOW I CAN GO SO SOMETHING ELSE FOR APPX. TWO DAYS." Also, it's the most common hang-out day for Katie and I, so that's a plus.

Month?
November, I think. Because it isn't ALWAYS ball-vanishing cold, nor is it usually BALL-ITCHING full of pollen. [Jay kay, my balls-balls don't itch in the presence of pollen. My eyeballs, however, do.]
But I like October, too.

CURRENTOLOGY

Missing someone?
Yeah. >:

Mood?
I'm okay. Not good, not bad, not really much of anything. Neutral, you could say.
Howeverrrr, I feel a spark of whimsy comin' on...~~~~~!!!!

What are you listening to?
A playlist I made. Right now music from Disgaea is playing.

Watching?
Just the monitor...
@Kelsey: Coincidence. Maybe.
I've heard that this keyboard, the "QWERTY" one, was created back in the days of typewriters. The secretaries of the time typed much too quickly for the machine to register, because the keys were nicely placed [In order of most used letters, such as vowels, to least used ones]. So, naturally, the gov'ment or whomever changed the keys to much less convenient places and generally fucked shit up. And now we have the bastardized keyboard, otherwise known as the "QWERTY" board.
Other countries use the convenient one, though. LOLOLOL?
Also, the government might have messed with the "L" and "R" keys, respectively, just to fuck with people that think about it too hard.

Worrying about?
Remembering to look into the Yearbook dealio, figuring out what to write for the next issue of Paw Prints [The theme is "Creativity". Any ideas? LOL?], and fixing my paper on [i]The Crucible[/i], as something about it seems off.

RANDOMOLOGY*

First place you went this morning?
To the bathroom.

What's the last movie you saw?
In theaters? "Ponyo".
Otherwise: I don't rec--
Oh. I'm watching "Minority Report" in my Sci-Fi class.

Do you smile often?
I don't know. Do grimaces or funny faces count as smiles? If so, then YES.

CURIOSITOLOGY

Do you always answer your phone?
[JESUS SHIT, REALLY? "CURIOSITOLOGY"?]
My house phone? Yeah.

Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
ffffuuuuu- It says "WHATISTHISIDON'TEVEN HOW AM I TEXT YOU YOU HASN'T A PHONE OSHIT CANDLEJA--"

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I like my eye color. Blue-green is teh secks, especially when lightin' makes them look really bluesy.
Oh, BTW, eyes do not change color [except in infants, and small kiddies, and in certain accidents, sometimes, they do]. Especially not "based on mood, kawaiidesu!". They only APPEAR to do so based on the ENVIRONMENT around you, and the lighting and such things.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I don't even think there's a Sonic around here.

Do you own a digital camera?
Yeahhhh~! I've had it for 13 months and 19 days, and I've taken over 6,200 pictures. I LOVE IT TO DEATH.

Have you ever had a pet fish?
I had two. And then two. And then one. And then four. And then one again.
Back when I went to the YMCA, out in DePere, during the summer, we chillens got to take the fishies home. [The goldfish was named Comet, and the other, not-orange one was Henrietta...]. The first time I took them home, Comet died. TEARS OF SADNESS. So my dad and I went to the fish-store [uhhh...] and got a replacement and named him Comet II. When I got to get them again a month later, Henrietta died on the way home. TEARS OF APATHY. So I took Comet II home and loved him forevar. The YMCA people told me I could keep him and I was all, "OMGYAY!".
Then, a couple years later, I acquired three angelfish [I don't think I named them] from a family friend. One of them got stuck in the fake rock, the other in the vent thing, and the final one just, you know, died. I think our tank was to little for more than one fish, haha. Comet II died about a year later, during school. Seeing him white and floating made me feel REALLY... weeeeird. I don't think I cried, but I was really sad.
Comet II lived for like three years. Which is really long for a little goldfish!
I miss you, Comet! >:

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I dunno, yet.

Can you do push ups?
FFFFFUUUU-- No, not really. I don't know if it's because I have unknown, weird arms or because I just have a perpetual case of YERDOIN'ITWRONG, but I can never do full-fledged push-ups. My elbows lock in place!
[/excuses]

Can you do a chin up?
Nay. D:

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
It makes me feel neutral.

Do you have any saved texts?
No.

Ever been in a car wreck?
Sort of. *LOOKS AT RYAN ANGRILY* When Kelsey and Ryan were going out, we were all hanging out, and Ryan was taking us to his house. He decided to crash into a snow bank COMPLETELY unexpectedly, "To scare us", and ended up making us both yell at him and simultaneously shit bricks and whatnot.
He almost ruined his engine! HA!

Do you have an accent?
I'm sure I do, to others. Wisconsonian, of course.

What is the last song to make you cry?
It was probably "Stairway to Heaven". I can never listen to that song without bawling.

When was the last time you cried?
Today, but it was more like my eyes were watering. I was standing on the deck of Doc's ship. The wind was cold, strong, sting-y, etc, so my eyes were watering crazily.

Plans tonight?
Go through my recent pics, upload some of them, go through my porn folders, play FFIV, maybe go on Cracked, take a shower...

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah. But only what I percieved as "rock bottom" at the time; I realize now how much worse things could have been.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
I bought a brat and a carton of chocolate milk at lunch. I also got a free cone of ice cream, like everyone else.
After the shenanigans that went down right before the football game, Mrs. Slowinski gave Michael and I free bakery items! She felt bad for us [Rocheleau shat on us, LOL]. Michael got a cookie and I got a brownie. Slowinski was awesome prior to that, but now she's even moreso! <3

Have you ever been given roses?
No. ;-;
I used to get flowers and such from Kelsey's old Gaia account, when we sent trades full of random shit to each other...

Current hate right now?
I don't really hate a whole lot of things. I dislike certain qualities, though, such as hypocrisy, even though everyone suffers from it.

Met someone who changed your life?
Quite a few, actually. Most for the better, some for the worse.

How did you bring in the new year?
Staying up late and making "resolutions" [read: false promises] that I most likely will never get around to doing. Just like everyone else.

What song represents you?
I can't really think of one, to be honest. I do have some of songs that I like a lot, though.
"I Will Not Bow", by Breaking Benjamin, is sort of speaking to me, right now.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
No. Unless I could do something potentially fucking awesome.
Like be the ONE person that commited suicide by being "eaten to death by dinosaurs that were previously thought to be herbivores". I'd probably be dressed up like a leaf and have leaf-scent and inject chlorophyll into my skin and vital organs.
Fuck yeah! Getting gnashed to death by a brontosaurus!
Not going to lie, even though I'm stanchly against suicide, I'd be tempted to do that just to be fucking awesome, if I didn't have anything going for me. And if it could make people laugh really hard, as opposed to just bawl their eyes out.
"He would", they'd say, and they'd laugh sadly.

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
I don't know. :c

Does anyone love you?
Depends on your definition. Friend, family, or otherwise?
Maybe to the first, yes to the second, and possibly to the third.

Would you be a pirate?
MY GOD, YESSSS. It's already in my [b]gene[/b]s [@Kelsey: cwutididthar?], cause'a' my daddeh. He's a pirate.

...
inb4 obvious butt-pirate jokes!

What songs do you sing in the shower?
Words to any song that's playing on the radio, on my computer, or in my mind.

Ever had someone sing to you?
Yeah. But not in a "I WANT TO GET IN YOUR PANTS" way.
...
At least, I don't [i]think[/i] so...

Do you like to cuddle?
Yeah!

Have you held hands with anyone today?
Naw.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Myself. I was bored and standing on the front, high-part of Doc's ship, and the sky was gorgeous, so I started self-piccing. Some of them turned out nice, even though I was uber paranoid that I'd drop my camera!

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
I... I don't... I don't remember. Other than KISS, I don't remember at all. ;-;

Do you believe in staying close with your ex's?
Only if it was worth it.
By the way, at first, I typo'd "worth" into "wother". What the hell?

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
What do you consider "new", and what about "old"? If "new" is "less than a year old", then none of the friends that I actually know are new. I've known [of] Kelsey since third grade, but didn't know her until Sophomore year; I've been friends with Michael since fifth grade, when he moved here; I've known Katie since freshman year [SUPERMORONS FOREVAR!]; Soleil and I became friends toward the end of my freshman year; Xalas was some time in between freshman and sophomore year; Justin was my sophomore year; Sig was for my junior year, as was Sam; etc. If you look at it like that, I've known Rachael for just over a year, making her my "newest" friend.
Any people I've met so far this year (such as Brad and Ory) aren't really my friends, since I haven't hung out with them outside of school, yet. They're more in-school friends, so far.

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
o_e I read that as "puppy orange juice".
And no, I don't.

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
Whatever they feel like at the time. ;D
It doesn't bother me, though.

Have you ever ridden on an elephant?
No. I'd probably pass out from being up so high! And elephants are stinky, I think...y.
*shot'd*

What are you saving your money up for right now?
Games and music. xD When I get a job, it'll be for a laptop and college.

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
A few days ago!

What song(s) do you want played at your funeral?
"Stairway to Heaven" and probably a few others. </3

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Computering. No. Wait. Shit. I don't re--
OH!
I was watching Sons of Anarchy with mah daddeh.


Jesus, that took a long time.
Why am I telling Jesus? I DON'T KNOW, OKAY!?
xD